I got a wood rolling pin for free, and it immediately reminded me of the hand-inking rollers used for the process of lithography. These rubber rollers were the bane of my existence. I have chronic health issues with atopic dermatitis. Which, a majority of the time, affects the use of my hands. These types of rollers were very hard on my body to use. I would wear gloves to try to save myself from having to wash my hands too often, but I can’t wear gloves for too long, or my skin reaction would be worse than if I didn’t wear gloves at all. After ten minutes of using a hand-inking roller, I would lose strength and ability to hold onto them, let alone make repeating motions. A common trigger for flare-ups is stress, and for one year of my life, I had to stop using my hands as much as possible. I had to stop making art so I could find a treatment that worked for me. It was devastating not even having the ability to hold a pencil without being in pain because I had lost a dangerous amount of layers of skin. 

Making art, even for no audience at all, is something that fuels my soul. Losing most use of my hands became challenging in many ways, I don’t feel like myself when I’m not creating. Once I healed enough and was given the okay to use my hands, I slowly started to create again. I became hesitant in my craftsmanship. I started to fear printmaking as a craft. It is still, to this day, the hardest process on my hands, but it is my favorite. Carving for wood relief prints is extremely relaxing for me. However, I always struggle with preferring how my carving turns out compared to how it prints. So, I’ll often go down the rabbit hole of becoming too intense when making proofs of works until I feel confident in their final form.